I hope you’re joking …

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Nope. I have only bought a tiny bit of Bitcoin one time. If I were to do another transaction it would be another hour or two of trying not to screw it up. Also not sure what exchange to use anymore. I used coin base but they seem a bit off with all the crap coins they traffic in.

I also have no idea how to use a wallet. I have a full node, but would like to check balance etc from my phone. No idea how to get the balance to blue wallet.

I just assumed because nostr/math. Assume you know all the arguments so I’ll spare you the sales pitch.

Ps, this supports my working theory that BTC - NGU = NOSTR