Ya experience seems to be totally dependent on combo of relays. It’s like a magic recipe you gotta get right or else …
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I've been working on that recipe for weeks. I think it's a moving target. I had everything great a couple days ago and now it's back to being horrible. I swear I've spent more time the last week testing out relay combinations than actually using Nostr.
Ya maybe this needs to be automated somehow? Would be cool if client just optimized performance for you - but that could create other problems