It's already over man. Pivot.
The use case of nostr is "make an app in a weekend" and that is where it ends.
Zoom out and look at yourself manufacturing a local corporate network use case... it's nonsense.
Also, all of your creativity at approaching this problem is lacking. There's no reason Nostr can't support indexers or trusted data sources, and then fall back to being a client and self-assembly when needed.
There's so much wrong, and it is actually all fixable, but it requires breaking everything and giving up on the memes.