Whether in romance, career, or other areas of life, we are incentivized to notice behavior that gets people closer to our passions or goals. The 'weak mens' complaints are self-loathing because they do not know how to become, or maybe even what is, a 'good/virtuous man'.

Ignore or pity the people who focus on their pains more than their joys. They are too busy licking their wounds to see anyone else's.