The high value woman you describe is likely not who you think she is. What you imagine is what Jung called Anima, which will destroy you equally as the woman with red flags.

Agreed, you have listed virtues and vices that a man should hold as red flags and minimal requirements, but in either case your illusion of who you think the woman is will blind you of who she actually is. It is true that a man won't truly know who his wife is until he overcomes this natural disability, which can take as long as 10 to 20 years, if the marriage lasts long enough.