But I don't think this is a problem that needs fixing. I think it and many similar scenarios are unavoidable in a distributed network, and what we need is to make sure users understand that delete is a best-effort thing that should not be relied upon.

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until someone devises an effective network broadcast distribution and data consistency strategy

also, i'm not gonna hold my breath waiting for most clients to implement "optional" "draft" NIP-42 which should by now be both mandatory and in production, there is just going to have to be leadership