also i'm very pleased to hear i can trust damus to use as a client, that means we got iOS users covered and in the near future there will be android too
nostr:npub1fjqqy4a93z5zsjwsfxqhc2764kvykfdyttvldkkkdera8dr78vhsmmleku lmk if nostrudel works.
Probably not what you are looking for - Damus has MacOS native app with the relay model. No gossip. You should be able to select your relay only.
In the meanwhile I logged this on nostrability issues list https://github.com/nostrability/nostrability/issues/22