abandonment and betrayal.
Discussion
hyper-fixation on preservation of self at the expense of everything else because of a fear no one else will remember you. and then being remembered for that and not yourself or what you feared is the greatest trauma irony of all.
remember anger is a reaction from stress - if they're angry that means they're in pain and anger is a means by which a trauma training learned to make things scary go away. anger is the most misunderstood emotion and it scares others so when someone wants to be left alone or they are scared of their true emotions they display anger. most are not actually angry. they're hurt and frightened.