You seriously need to be using Linux if you aren't already. Linux Mint, Pop_OS!, Nobara Project, CachyOS, PikaOS, Artix Linux... whichever sounds good to you.

For a phone, GrapheneOS on a Google Pixel or an OEM model (whenever those come out)

DNS... I like to use ControlD, which is fantastic.

For note-taking... you'll want a local-first application. I use Obsidian to do this (and actually have a read on what's in my Obsidian vaults).

For a VPN, you'll want to figure out how you can set up your VPN router-side or device-side. I'd recommend network-wide VPN (I have Proton). Your options are Proton, Mullvad and IVPN for that, as they can use BTC, and I think Mullvad and IVPN accept Monero.

If you want more Free Software (notice how I spelled it), feel free to let me know. I'd be happy to help out on this front.