When I was single ready to be a wife, I heard a story of someone who had talked to a Jewish man who picked the spouse for his children. The kids had a say, but they weren't left on their own to get it done.
My parents had zero involvement, also, it only took 68 days from our first date until we got married, and he was only my boyfriend for 6 days until we were basically engaged (though I got the ring the night before the wedding when we first met in person) but we had God basically being our wingman, so it worked out well 😎
I really liked the idea of getting to see how my future husband interacts with other people, because if we like someone we tend to put our best foot forward, but other people tend to get the more real experience of a person.
Like the women who like a bad boy, because he's kind to her but treats others horribly. It's not gonna take long before he starts treating her the same way! But then she's already attached and it's harder to leave.
One of my friends had been away from home for maybe 1.5 years. When she came back, a guy had joined her church and became friends or at least friendly with her family members, and they liked him, and when they started interacting they realized they really liked each other too, and ended up getting married within about 6 months. It really helped her that her family had already seen the real him before he even knew she existed, because she could use them as a reference for his character.
So, yes, I think it's a great idea when the community gets involved. However, they need to be healthy people who can give honest observations rather than those who just blindly encourage dating because they wanna go to a wedding or they like the person, but the person doesn't actually suit the single person and what they want out of life. So, it's a balancing game.
I think it's super important to know oneself and what one wants out of life so they can sort potential partners accurately and quickly.
These are some of the things we'll be helping people figure out in our book.
