There is no link to any utxos i apprently own, lost them all to the pre set up hardware wallet I got as a gift on that conference.

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I lost my keys is actually a bad answer. Because now you have told them that you can never move those coins, so if they move, you have lied.

stolen?

Stolen is slightly better, but if they are stolen the coins shouldn't be in the addresses you used for kyc because whoever stole your keys will move the coins.

also if enough people say stolen, now the gun point will just move to your kids head from your head.