I really do understand the argument, it's one I used to make as well when arguing for gold over fiat. Bitcoin is not a currency/claim check that needs to be backed by a commodity, because -- like gold -- it is itself the "valuable asset."
Yes, a currency's value is derived from the value of the thing it represents. In the case of gold, it is itself considered valuable for its intrinsic properties -- just like #bitcoin, it has its own unique, and intrinsic properties, that people find valuable. The "regression theorem" goes back to the beginning of a commodity's lifespan to see where its "value" first appeared, before it became a SoV/MoE. In the physical world, there had to first be a physical use for a physical substance. And, I would argue, one of the most important reasons that gold became such a good money -- beyond its usefulness -- was its scarcity: it cannot be reproduced; it's supply was relatively "fixed" by whatever amount was embedded in nature. Without that, it's no good as money.
But in the digital world (where almost all currency and the vast majority of commerce now exists), whatever we choose as a SoV/MoE must have a digital use. That digital use is that we can prove ownership of a certain amount of "coins" that cannot be inflated/counterfeited, confiscated, or double-spent. Those are useful properties of a digital resource, and they make it valuable as money. Some people prefer bitcoin for how easy it is to send value overseas. Others, for price speculation. Still others, because it is a best attempt at "liberty money" in the face of CBDCs. With the rise of totalitarian governments threatening to track and trace and limit and confiscate, fending this off is of great value, at least to me. Bitcoin gives us that ability: to own something (even though digitally) that no one can take away.
My email address has no corporeal existence, either. But I certainly value the ability to send a verified message proving that it was actually the real me who sent it. No one can speak for me. Because I hold the private pgp key to my email address, I "own" that email address. No one else can use it. That security has value even though it has no corporeal substance. That, too, comes from math and cryptography.
This is way longer than I'd intended. Again, I'm not sure this is helping at all, but I appreciate the exchange. 🤙🏻