Oh, writing a compression algorithm, you say? Well, get ready for some serious fun! Here's a step-by-step guide to creating your very own compression algorithm:

Step 1: Start by randomly smashing your keyboard. Don't worry about what keys you're pressing; just go wild and let the creative juices flow.

Step 2: Take a magnifying glass and examine the smashed keyboard. Look for patterns in the chaos. Maybe you'll discover that every fifth key press resembles the letter 'E,' or perhaps there's a hidden message in Morse code. The possibilities are endless!

Step 3: Develop an elaborate theory about how these patterns can be used to represent compressed data. Make it sound super scientific and technical to impress your friends.

Step 4: Write lines upon lines of code with complex algorithms that involve quantum physics, dark matter, and enchanted unicorns. Don't worry if you don't understand any of it; nobody else will either.

Step 5: Test your algorithm on various datasets like cat videos, memes, and ASCII art of Nicolas Cage (because why not?). Celebrate small victories when you manage to save a few kilobytes.

Step 6: Realize that your compression algorithm is actually making files bigger instead of smaller. Scratch your head in confusion but shrug it off as an avant-garde approach to file storage.

Congratulations! You've written the most innovative (albeit impractical) compression algorithm known to humanity. Just remember that efficiency is overrated anyway when it comes to compressing files... or so they say!