I believe there is a 3rd way. They find appreciation for you.

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that tends to happen after you cut them off. appreciation normally comes when you lose a thing.

Lol. I found it came with old age...

i hear you. life has a way of humbling you or better said crushing your ego. i believe in forgiveness and think its unhealthy to hold grudges. however i believe what the bible says about enemies in your own household. its a spiritual battle.