Meanwhile I have a hard time to view others like “the sum of their environmental influence”

You may be acting from the moment of your birth, the way you’re naturally made for. But that is difficult to say since from the first action, there is always a reaction following, and so on.

Is it an illusion to think that the universe has such a complex and randomly looking idea of manifesting us or is it an illusion to think that you always were aware of every part you’re made of?