Who said you're being patriarchal and overbearing? Perhaps you're channeling some internal feelings and trying to put them on others?
My take is live and let live. Let ppl do what they want, you don't know their life, no need to tell em what to do.
Hell if someone doesn't want to drink water and wants to kill themselves, that's on them too. I don't understand why they would do that and thats OK, they can do what they want