Only yesterday, I was only semi-joking when I said I wished I had time for a full mental breakdown. Joking about it helps, but the weight behind it is real. Hence my morning art choice today. I cannot say I fully understand what you are describing and experiencing, but I think I can at least relate.
For me, making lists rarely works, unfinished tasks just pile up, add to my guilt, and deepen the paralysis. What actually helps is helping others. If a friend needs help with paperwork, I instantly jump all over it. But when it comes to sending a simple email for myself, it can take me three days to do it.