In my experience, there are also big fees/spreads when first buying the metal. For instance, a friend bought an 100 ounce bar of silver and payed about a dollar over spot plus a $30 fee. Why not just coinjoin if you’re going to go through that trouble?

Not trying to be a metals hater, I just struggle to picture a world where it would be my first choice.

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It does cost to use metals. I think it depends on how much private you want the transaction to be and how much you are ready to pay for that level of privacy. Let's say you were doing something noble but illegal, like being JStark II in Germany. Would you trust coinjoin or ecash or lightning to take payments? Maybe I am digitally illiterate, but I wouldn't. Fiat cash and metals only if I am JStark.