There are two types of couples therapists.

There’s honest ones, and there’s the rest.

The honest couples therapist gets up in the morning and looks themself in the fucking mirror, and sets their standard. Sets their stall out, and says I’m going to get better. I’m going to get better. I’m going to get better.

They don’t complain about the clients, or the internet connection, or the model. Or all these sorts of things.

These are just peripheral things that weak couples therapists have always complained about. The dishonest couples therapist.

If The couple are not getting the cycle, if they are not deescalating, if they are not surrendering to one narrative - it is on you.

And we accept that, and we do something about it. We keep working on understanding them, loving them, reflecting the cycle more creatively, deeper, invest more of your own vulnerability. You do what it takes.

It is a battle. Bare knuckle stuff. You must win the battle. You must win for the relationship.

:)

#relationships

#couples therapy

#marriage

#relstionship advice

Credit British and Irish lions speech by Jim telfer 1997 for inspiration