copy pasta

> be Google in 2017

> small team drops “Attention Is All You Need” on arXiv

> execs nod politely, go back to selling ads for socks

> let Transformer gather dust for 5 yrs like a vintage Beanie Baby

> be Noam Shazeer, OG wizard

> quits, builds AI-boyfriend app “Character.AI”

> millions of lonely hearts pay $9.99 to e-date 2B from Nier

> Google HR: “any chance you wanna come back?”

> Shazeer: “busy, my e-gf is calling”

> 2022, OpenAI drops ChatGPT

> world loses its mind, Google stock does bungee jump

> Sundar holds all-hands: “guys, we need a response by Q2”

> team ships Bard in 3 weeks using 12 interns, 2000 TPUv4s, and pure panic

> Bard hallucinates that the earth is flat

> Wall Street: “sell sell sell”

> Sergey hears the screams from his yacht

> flies back on a carbon-negative jet, reclaims unofficial crown

> merges GoogleBrain + DeepMind like Dragon Ball fusion

> axes Bard, slaps Gemini sticker on everything

> Gemini launches, immediately generate a black Abraham Lincoln

> Twitter dubs them “Bing’s woke cousin”

> Shazeer finally answers HR’s 47th email

>“fine, but I want my own parking spot and unlimited LaCroix”

> returns, waves wand, Gemini 2 & 2.5 drop

> context window so big it can summarise the Bible + your group chat

> Google processing 980T tokens/month, equal to 40 % of human SMS traffic

> someone sneezes “Nano Banana” into the Play Store

> overnight it’s #1 app, turns ur selfie into big-tiddy anime waifu