The Day Rabbi Agitator Stole the Boy’s Yarmulke

The boy walked into temple Friday night like he usually did. Excited to convert from Buddhist to Orthodox, his smile was ear to ear. Rabbi Agitator just had to finish the lineage recording and the conversion would be complete. The Rabbi sat the boy down in his office, asking why he didn’t complete his homework assignment. The boy insisted he did complete his assignment versus the Rabbi’s insistence his inscribing was only half complete. The boy said he had no father, so God must be his father on his journey to follow the House of Abraham. The Rabbi insisted this could not be so and told him the conversion was being delayed a week.

The boy showed up a week later with no more inscriptions, just a letter from his mother confirming the boy was without a father. The Rabbi had done quite a bit of research in the preceding 7 days. The Rabbi told the boy he was a Catholic. “But Rabbi Agitator, Jesus Christ is not my salvation.” The Rabbi said words that few Rabbis would or have said.

“I believe in Jesus Christ for you enough for the both of us.”

B- The boy objected. That cannot be so. I just bought 7 Yarmulkes from the Ben Shapiro website to celebrate the conversion.

R- The Rabbi said those Yarmulkes are worth more to me than you and Ben combined.

B- And if I hand you these Yarmulkes, will you place one on my head next week?

R- No. I will place them on the heads of seven different boys at their bar mitzvahs.

B- Are you saying me and my future wife are having seven boys?

R- Let me get back to you on that one, but you must be baptized by a Catholic priest before you may have my answer.

B- Why must I be Catholic before my sons are Jewish, Rabbi Agitator?

R- Because the Rebbe says so.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​