Finally found a good use for the New York Times. 
Discussion
My biggest concern is that you paid money for it. I'm hoping you found this pitched on the side of the road by a libturd that finally came to his/her senses and has thus become an apolitical ally. 😃
It’s also useful as:
Packing Material
Painting Drop Cloth
Grease Absorber
Shoe Dryer
Car Floor Liner
Window Cleaner
Tomato Ripener
Mud Absorber
Insulation
🤓
Have you read ‘The Gray Lady Winked’ ? Good read.
🧡