I was surprised... and I don't agreed with you, and its ok for me. Could be a long conversation but... look, your ideia is arrogant, because you think that Mathematic will solve all your problems, will give you control, will give answers for everything... Of course Mathematics is important for us, but is limited.

You are just human, be humble and maybe, just maybe, being more humble you can find some truths/answers that curves can't give to you...

Only Christ can give the full truth.

Saint Thomas Aquinas said that Faith and Reason do not contradict each other, but help each other mutually. Both come from God and can lead to the knowledge of truth. Faith liberates and preserves reason from error, while reason establishes the foundations of faith and develops knowledge of the things of God.

Look, I think you have amazing capacities:

If you like try to study "Summa Theologica":