What is the point of running my own relay if the other relays will not write/store my notes? I'll be effectively banned.
By “punishing bad actors,” you're here referring to speech.
Who decides what type of speech is bad? Is it already decided?
Why not be up-front about it. Why keep pretending it's censorship-resistant?
If you run your own relay, then anyone who wants to hear what you have to say can connect to it, regardless of whether any other relays ever store your notes. If no one wants to connect to your relay to hear what you have to say, then maybe you ought to consider saying things people care to hear.
Thread collapsed