I agree with this, it doesn't make sense to me, never has, even as a kid when I went to church none of it felt right.

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Same here except as I got older I realized that my fear of suffering might itself be unnecessary and not a sign of some ultimate evil. Avoiding suffering is a pussy's game. If God exists, he's not there to artificially make your life easy. The monotheists who believe he is are beholden to a contradiction and are a bit insane.