My ex-Mormon mentor just told me that when he was 13, he confessed to a bishop that he liked to look at Victoria's Secret magazines. The bishop said that's almost as bad as murder, made him promise to stop, and then put his name on a signed list of good boys. Later, he had to put on a white jumpsuit and was dunked multiple times in a hot tub mounted on 12 white cattle statues. This process allowed dead people who'd been waiting hundreds of years to finally get into heaven.