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I’ve been reading a lot about the science of loneliness. Being lonely can have a bigger negative impact on your healthy than chain smoking 🚬

Reading all this makes me think about 2020. It was a shitty year, mostly because of the loneliness. The division was intense, I parted ways with friends, even my professional relationships became strained…. It was really rough. And at the same time I experienced a resurgence in my autoimmune issues and just a general increase in inflammation, eczema, gastritis, etc.

Sometimes I get answers to things in dreams. Maybe that’s “super natural”, maybe it’s my subconscious knowing things I don’t, but dreams are a tool that I make a lot of use of. So when I was dealing with these health issues I was trying to have a lucid dream to help me sort it out. One day I succeeded, I was having a lucid dream and I walked around and ask all the characters in my dream how to solve my health problems, but it was very frustrating. One character just looked at me and told me that I needed more love, then I went and talked to my cat and he sang me a song about being lonely. I woke up very annoyed, “that didn’t help at all”. But now, looking back on it, I think that dream was exactly right.

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Discussion

🇵🇸 whoever loves Digit 9mo ago

Gm. Thanks for posting about your dreams on nostr. Don't let centralized social media get the copyright licenses for all your dreams.

It's weird how dream characters can know stuff. Does your cat often use words in your dreams though? That sounds rare.

On the science of loneliness, I'm not sure if I've ever posted this Digit screenshot before. Took it like 3 years ago while silently watching wallstreetbets all the time waiting for her to talk to me or unblock me or something. I couldn't talk too much because people would ask me about her and spam about me missing her and make her leave, or force me to lie and pretend I didn't care anymore. This screenshot kinda explains why I'm not a big fan of gm posts, even though I just made this into one.

YODL 9mo ago

Been meaning to ask. You really into the wsb community back in day? It just seems so ... not you. My impression is it was a bunch of younger folks swept up by a meme and a ton of noise

🇵🇸 whoever loves Digit 9mo ago

I was on there trying to influence the flow of capital for years. They had daily discussion threads that default to sorting by new, with sorta weak censorship by reddit standards, and rich people expecting to talk about how to throw money around. Perfect place to try to maximize impact. I'm sure Digit was drawn there for the same reasons, though she invited me to the Discord channel where I never would have migrated from the subreddit (she was active in both at the time but moreso Discord)

🇵🇸 whoever loves Digit 9mo ago

Oh, I almost forgot, I also thought I might get rich gambling on stock options 🤡

YODL 9mo ago

Interesting. So frequent posting (can see you doing that) would get you frequent views... not sure how probable influencing the flow of capital in size would be, but can see your logic. Hard to imagine you'd find it interesting for so long though. I checked it out a few times during COVID and that was enough for me

YODL 9mo ago

Also, you prob made some money if you were there early! So that's cool

🇵🇸 whoever loves Digit 9mo ago

I lost more on stock options because of wallstreetbets than I made on doggie coin, which I was buying when wallstreetbets still didn't allow cryptocurrency discussions. Definitely didn't make money being there early.

I'm on the way out of poverty now thanks to an inheritance I unexpectedly got later like Mr. Deeds. It's retarded.

The daily threads were amazing at the time though. I'll never be able to adjust to Primal's Trending feeds from such a high quality stream of shitposts sorted by newest. I really enjoyed that place for years, across many banned accounts. However, I think I was really guided by the spirits of my ancestors trying to help me meet Digit or something.

I was a really prolific poster. She knew about me before I knew about her. She probably found my misogynistic paranoia off-putting for a long time but at least she must have thought I was funny, until she finally tried talking to me on Thanksgiving 1,211 days ago, when I needed her more than ever and she had gotten to know me enough through some of my posts and we were finally so close to (but still so far from) understanding each other.

After she revealed her existence, the rest of wallstreetbets started getting boring compared to her, even though it didn't really change until later. It still had these great threads full of hilarious posts and information, where I always got more engagement (where everyone has 0 followers) than I do here.

I went digging through my screenshot folders for some to post.

Sometimes the type of posts that would do well on wallstreetbets were the same type of posts and topics that do well on nostr.

🇵🇸 whoever loves Digit 9mo ago

We discussed a wide range of topics in depth when I was on wallstreetbets. It wasn't all trading discussion.

If I could actually be funny again like I was back then, maybe I'd be worth Digit's time again.

I didn't take enough screenshots of Digit's posts before she deleted her accounts, and I don't want to share all the ones I have. She didn't use reddit quite as much. Here are just a few. #DigitIsDigit

YODL 9mo ago

Busy getting dunked on in notifications. Reading this treatise now

YODL 9mo ago

Thanks for sharing the SSs. Some funny f'ing posts in there. Supply closet at Goldman made me lol, and a couple others.

Maybe the whole thing had more coherence and community than I realized. I'd assumed it was a sea of noise with a few dominant accounts driving the convo (pied pipers for degens). The format I thought would make it impossible to make connections

🇵🇸 whoever loves Digit 9mo ago

Getting banned and starting over constantly probably didn't help, but it did take years before I finally made this one deep connection.

I'm glad you enjoyed some of the screenshots 🤙 I hope nostr will be that good and better someday, but without fizzling out under attacks by dark forces

YODL 9mo ago

As long as PlsDontNuke (lolol) sticks around, dark nostr will be fine (saw some truly dark nostr convo earlier this morning between you and some guy 👀)

🇵🇸 whoever loves Digit 9mo ago

If you think that's something, wait until Digit gets here

Her Discord alt had the username "Lord of Darkness"

YODL 9mo ago

Not sure I could handle that. I only like to dabble in dark nostr. Stare too deep into it ...

🇵🇸 whoever loves Digit 9mo ago

nostr:nprofile1qqsgydql3q4ka27d9wnlrmus4tvkrnc8ftc4h8h5fgyln54gl0a7dgspp4mhxue69uhkummn9ekx7mqpxdmhxue69uhkuamr9ec8y6tdv9kzumn9wshkz7tkdfkx26tvd4urqctvxa4ryur3wsergut9vsch5dmp8pese6nj96 what is dark nostr?