IM HAVING A #VURNABLE MOMENT AS A #CREATIVE. 🫣

Ive been reprioritizing my #writing, instead of putting my passion on the back burner and feeling like Im giving up on myself, Im trying to make it a priority. And work on it even just a little on days that I dont work.

In doing it ive come to realize what im avoiding and the #shadowwork that comes with it. Theres apart of me thats afraid of writing it. Part of me fears it never turning out as good as I hoped, that Ill give it all and it still wont be good enough, that this and that will never make sense or that I need to keep making it better for some reason.

Its all been coming up lately, the more I write, the worse it gets, and yet when I stop I feel like my soul begins to rot and I start to lose myself again.

I cant say Im sure how to win this yet, but I decided that im not gonna give up on myself and my #dreams. Im gonna keep going, it feels alot like treading through mud though.

Ill write some, get excited, immedietly question it, try to fix it, then wonder if itll be good enough. Then i continue to write again, spending the remainder of my time thinking about how to make this and that work inbetween doing other things.

Then ill get this awesome vision it seems, Ill get excited and write, but then what are the right words to use, how do I transition this shit? Is this good enough that I can move forward or do I have to change something to make it fit? Do my characters just wanna take over? Is it okay to just trust the process, but-WHAT IF.

Im not really confident in what im doing yet, because Im writing in a way thats different and unconventional trying to make it work somehow. At the same time, when I try to think of other ways, I realize they miss the key elements of what im trying to do and I realize I may just be doubting. So on forward.

What a place to be.