A few months ago, I bought an original piece from my former painting professor.. it was a gift for someone and after recieving that gift, they very promptly destroyed all positive feelings and associations with the time I shared with them.

The artwork was of an antique typewriter.

This week I bought another. A typewriter in a field with weedy flowers growing thru and the keys broken.

This makes sense to me as a way to mourn that friendship in a healthy way even if I am still hurt and angry.

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When I give gifts, they are deeply thoughtful gifts, and so when they got their typewriter and loved it so much.. it was very upsetting that a few days later they did the thing they did and ruined how I saw them.

I wish I were not so perceptive. I wish I had not gained their trust enough for them to think they could be their unfilered self if that meant they showed how fake and sexist and selfishly opportunistic they had been all their life.

"Never meet your heroes", friends.