⚡BREAKING - Eric Schmidt on recent developments and his outlook: "In that alley down the corner... I've sucked about 25% of the dicks. As this trend continues... and my... hunger for dick stays the same.. It might increase even. The amount of unsucked dicks by me will reach 0 in a few weeks. That is a very worrying development. At some point... calls for government intervention will grow louder."

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“If we don’t do something real about climate change, at some point we’re gonna run outta dicks,” Schmidt went on to warn.