*If LoTR took place in 2024*

Frodo: We must destroy the fiat money printer for the good of Middle Earth.

Aragorn: You have my sword. Laser eyes till fiat dies.

Legolas: And you have my node.

Gimli: And my Bitaxe.

Boromir: But what if we use fiat for good? We could print trillions and hand it out to Gondor citizens as UBI.

Gollum: Give the precious fiat printer to me. It’s my birthday, and I wants it!

Sam: Gollum is NGMI. I see the way he looks at JPow during FOMC meetings.

Frodo: It’s not his fault, Sam. He’s suffering from fiat stockholm syndrome.

Gandalf: Sauron is forging unrealized capital gains taxes in Mordor. I must go to Minas Tirith to read the manuscripts of Lyn Alden to see how this impacts our quest to destroy fiat.

Saruman: We cannot destroy fiat. We must join it. I’m building an army of VC-backed scamcoiners at Orthanc…

Pippin: HFSP, Saruman. We’ll be enjoying some well-deserved ribeyes and Peony Lane.