The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of

the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at

her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic

Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you'll feel my

steel through your last meal!'

-- Winning sentence, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.