What do you think when someone starts insulting you in an argument?
Discussion
They don't have a valid argument so they need fillers.
Either they're wrong about the argument, or too emotional.
Or both.
I find that they’re not even able to articulate their position so they get emotional and start attacking
If one side is too emotional, maybe the rational one can help them strengthen their argument in good faith?
If both sides are emotional then that's just undesirable.
That would be amazing, yes.
But I don't have the maturity to simply disregard insults and continue engaging. However, I try to steelman when the argument is respectful.
I would do the following:
1) Understand that there is either a miscommunication or a difference in values. Try to figure out what they are.
2) Next step is to make an attempt at building a bridge with the other individual.
3) If that doesn't work and if people are watching and listening, present arguments for the benefit of those people in a rational way and step aside once that's done.
4) If no one is watching and bridges can't be built, abandon the conversation immediately and move on.
My issue is that I mostly ask questions to try and understand their position. Then their entire argument starts to make less sense. So they stop answering my questions and say that what I’m doing is dumb because I’m asking questions I know the answer to. It’s like they just want to have a shouting match which I don’t engage in. But then when they start insulting, I wonder if they are stupid or just immature.
It's because people have a limited amount of time in a day and they likely wouldn't want to repeat the foundations of their position to everyone they meet.
This is why we divide sets of ideas into schools of thought so that we can build on them instead of starting from scratch. Kind of like SDK's for ideas to which we can add our own creative thinking.
Also, repeated questions in a private conversation makes sense, but in public, it can give the other person suspicion that you are doing it just to put their ideas down in front of other people, even if you do it in good faith.
They lost the argument and are trying to belittle you to feel better about themselves
My thoughts exactly. But they called me arrogant. Who is more arrogant: the one that insults the other to feel better or the one that stays calm and civil?
How is that arrogant? I would say the one that insults is the arrogant one because they feel superior to the other person. It’s not arrogant to stay calm, that’s called self control in my book at least…
I stop listening to what they have to say. Pointless to continue the argument. No solutions will be found this way
Were you always this way? I noticed you never really argue with anyone nostr either
IRL, As a teen I would definitely argue more. As an adult way less, doesn’t interest me that much.
On twitter it would definitely happen a lot. Nostr is definitely more positive
What changed for you?
I realized that people don’t really change their mind. Their positions shift slowly through experiences. Ultimately it always has to come from them. (The spark of change)
I have a friend who gained a lot of weight in the last few years. He has a bad habit of having a snack (read large meal late at night). I tell him it’s one of the worst things he can do for recovery, that it’s bad for his HRV, that his resting heart rate will be elevated. And he just says: what recovery? I don’t work out. And laughs it off. Me arguing with him, even though I’m right, won’t change anything. It has to come from him 🤷🏾♂️
Good point. It’s just frustrating for me when I hear people bullshit themselves. For example, just now my friend said he regrets taking the vaccine but he was forced to take it. I can’t stand when people do that so I said, “did someone hold you down and forcefully inject you with it?” He said no but I had to take it to attend a relatives wedding. I said okay but you chose that. You didn’t have to attend. Maybe I’m in the wrong for even challenging someone else’s bs but then again, what kind of friend would I be if I just let my friends lie to themselves? I know for a fact some of my other friends appreciate that I do that with them.
I agree with you: being honest, particularly in friendships, is one of the most important things. But arguing won’t change the past and it won’t change how they view the situation (especially if they get yo the point of insulting you). Being honest with them and exchanging in a non judgemental way could help spark a change. IF they’re ready for it
Good point. Have you ever noticed that when you talk to some people, it seems like no matter what way you say they just don’t comprehend what you’re saying. I’m not even talking about arguments. Just like hey you know the reason why all this inflation is happening is because the money is broken. And they just give you some weird response like yeah idk it’s kinda complicated. Then you think oh he’s not responding negatively maybe I can orange pill him so you explain more and it’s just not registering. You can’t even talk about Bitcoin because their NPC programming prevents it
I see this all the time 😂
Them: My grocery bill is too high
Me: you know it’s because of inflation right?
Them: yeah the weather is really bad this year that’s why food price went up
Me: well, inflation is caused by the government printing more money
Them: no but the government is doing it for the wellbeing of the economy
For fucks sake 😑
It’s frustrating in a depressing way lmao like am I really surrounded by idiots?
Maybe it’s easier for them to believe the lie, then to accept they’re being lied to?
I thought that too but I feel like they just don’t understand what the fuck is actually going on. Like this is what’s going on in their brains.
😂😂😂
I think they get that something is off since it’s affecting their bottom line. But other than that, it’s a mystery
😂😂
I’ll give you another example. Someone said that trump is good for the country because he lowered taxes. He didn’t substantiate this claim and I honestly don’t know if trump actually did that but I told him that lowering taxes is irrelevant if you don’t reduce government spending. And I told him that more money was printed under orange man than any other president before (Biden may break that record). So effectively, we’ve lost more purchasing power and become poorer despite lower taxes. Then he said but that raises GDP so it’s good 🤦♂️
Always some dumb justification 😂😂😂
Totally agree with you this is stupidity 100%
I won.
At point I’ve won, they just are trying to find anything they can to sound intelligent