i can click the profile and see no posts, actually one time i saw all the posts on the profile then they just disappeared... like flashed in then out

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But does it say unblock in the follow button?

it says unfollow, as i am following them

as far as i am aware i have never blocked them

amethyst keeps hiding their opening post to this thread btw

Then, it's not blocked, it's something else. Probably the relay set is not that good. I see that most posts match only 4 relays with me, and this is after 30 seconds waiting to download.

whats a good way to find the best relay to get their notes?

i thought amethyst had gossip? ie auto relay discovery? is it nip65?

Not yet. I need the local database first to keep track of everybody's contact list like that.

i think that is quite important to improve discovery, efficiency and scaling

Do you know any clients that have it? That seems like an important feature.