I know this may sound strange, but after watching the movie Beautiful Mind, I sometimes wonder if I also have delusions. Just like I meticulously observe my body for any new physical symptoms, I also carefully scrutinize my mind for any signs of mental illness. However, the challenge with mental illness is that my brain is the control center, and if I have a mental illness, that control center doesn’t function properly. Consequently, when I have delusions, it’s highly likely that I won’t be able to recognize them if I’m living alone. Imagine living in a single household and developing schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, or bipolar mood disorder. I enjoy writing on social media, so I make posts there. However, the content I share may not be normal. If I continue spreading these posts on the Internet, what’s the benefit? I’ll just become someone who posts trash online without professional intervention from mental health experts. This was my biggest fear when I lived alone. I hope I don’t have to worry about it when I’m older. That’s why I’ve started considering getting married before it’s too late, or just having a close friend as a companion. Living alone with a smartphone in my hand is simply the worst.
Discussion
I often contemplate mental illness, particularly in light of my personal interest in Alzheimer’s. In my generation, a prevalent sentiment among Korean people is the fear of living with elderly parents who have Alzheimer’s. This disease is unforgiving, constantly challenging one’s unwavering commitment to their parents. As their memories fade and cognitive abilities decline, they may transform into individuals you despise, despite your love and gratitude for them. It’s mentally taxing to accept the reality that your parents may not be the same people they once were, and to face this truth daily. I believe this situation is one of the most cruel in life. Imagine the pain of losing the memory of the person you love and having them act like a stranger to you. Is that person still the same person you cherished? Or has they become an entirely different soul, sharing the same physical characteristics as your parents?