It depends on where you would expect the note to "belong". In most cases, you would encode the nevent with 3-5 of the author's "write" relays, pulled from their NIP 65 10002 event. In some cases, an event might "belong" elsewhere, for example with NIP 29 communities, where a note is posted to a community relay.
For the examples you mentioned, the second example includes a hint for finding the e-tagged event, not the cited event itself. The hint is also not ideal, because it uses the event author's relay, not one of nostr:nprofile1qy88wumn8ghj7mn0wvhxcmmv9uq3jamnwvaz7tmjv4kxz7fwwdhx7un59eek7cmfv9kz7qguwaehxw309aex2mrp0yhxy6t5vdhkjmnsv9exktnrdakj7qg4waehxw309aex2mrp0yhxgctdw4eju6t09uq3wamnwvaz7tmjv4kxz7fwwd6x7mn9wghxxmmd9uqzq3e0gs8jnmued6f2rp4c6vs07xqvs4vs8zpwt82smcdch4txjvq765gqlc's relays (he doesn't have relay.primal.net in his 10002), but it does work because primal happens to have the note in question.
The first example doesn't make any sense, I don't know what `r` tags mean when applied to kind 1. NIP 65 only defines `r` tags applied to kind 10002, not any other event.
