Did you ever even check what is on what relay?
I disconnected with one relay now nostr:npub1p6xyr6u5vet33r4x724vxmp9uwfllax5zjdgxeujyrtxt90lp74qvah0rm looking at you 😅 and that seems to help a little.
So it depends on different relays right?
Discussion
Oh I didn’t want to blame you by any means. I just tested it out with your relay 😊 sure, using paid relays only would probably help a lot. Maybe this is a call for me to filter out some relays 🤷🏼♂️