Ideally relay admins would be upfront with their policies so you could make a decision about this. But they shouldn’t have special authority, it should still be possible to request a delete esp considering the laws in some countries which require it.

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I thought the whole point of being here on a decentralised platform was the fact that there’s no delete’s, ever!

Not at all, that’s not what decentralised means or implies, and that violates the law in the EU so say goodbye to EU relays.