But does Rubin and others not think that the conservative party will outlaw his way of living when the time comes?

That's the part I don't understand, and I see it in Christianity too, where gays have been brought in under the guise that the church blesses their way of living, instead of rebuking their sin.

Both the church and conservatism has to choose between popularity and values. I don't see how it can't, because even avoiding that is to make a choice.