Before I converted to Catholicism, I used to struggle with this a lot. I’m pretty aware of my shortcomings, and I have many of them. There’s something powerful about knowing that Christ calls sinners, and he’s not recruiting perfect people. Luke 5:32 🙏

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As American HODL said recently, there's a point when you realise that you live like a believer, without being one. A few weeks ago I stepped into a church and observed a young tourist couple. I don't know exactly what they were doing but everything was radiating respect towards everything surrounding them, and they were humble in a way I can't describe. And I was impressed, somehow. I sound like a retard, I don't know yet how to express everything but I hope you got the general idea.

I know exactly what you mean. At the risk of being lame, I recorded a short video response to your post.

https://blossom.primal.net/41f369c68056e0ba7abe256f46be4d2529de8911cd4673e32790975a0062f9d9.mp4

I'd like to tell you that I know what I want but I don't know what's on this road, or if there's a road at all. Right now I crave the feeling of peace that I felt in that church. Also a very beautiful church, so there's that.