For all new nostr users I would highly recommend mentioning the client you are using with which you have trubles with. What app (client) you are using to join nostr. People reading your questions might use hundreds of different client and each of them might have different options.
That's the beauty of nostr. You find one app confusing, no problem! Use some other and your content and contacts will be there if you set the same relays. Isn't that wonderful ✨
And when asking questions about anything use popular help hashtag #askNostr
Hashtags are powerfull