Noobie question: why do people here hate DMs so much? Is it a security issue? Social norm to engage in public?
Discussion
I can only speak for myself. Basically we had terrible DMs implementation initially and someone improved it but some (I donāt know the full list) clients got lazy and didnāt upgrade for whatever reasons (maybe they didnāt like that solution, or think DMs donāt belong in short note clients - who knows) but what we have now is DMs that are always there and you canāt remove from UI that sort of work on some clients and still running the old version on others. So you get a lot of missed DMs unless you open a dedicated dm client - which I suppose you could if you cared enough). But people end up thinking youāre ignoring them because you didnāt respond to your so called friends but little do they know you didnāt see their DMs. So the burden then falls on you to check some other app regularly just to see if you might have an off chance dm. Or you could enable notifications which is a no go for a no-notifications maxi like me (I have zero notifications for anything, zero exceptions). So the next best thing imo is to just nuke DMs if youāre not going to support the latest version that many other clients are supporting but itās not happening. Then some devs tell you to go use another client then but the other client looks like potatoes and works 100% 50% of the time and theyāre like ābut it works for meā - true story.
In the end you are left with a choice - pick the feature that matter to you and use some other dedicated client to do the thing itās supposed to do well. I personally use many clients for different things just not DMs. Iād be happy with DMs being gone entirely and relegated to dedicated clients so I never have to see them š¤£
Ahhh, got it, and thank you for the thoughtful response! I havenāt done DMs much here because Iām more of a āsocial first,ā person, but yeah, I think they probably should be taken out and handled by dedicated clients.
I would like the option to set a profile preference for this so everyone in every client can know where you stand. Because a client can hide it from you, but that doesn't mean other people won't still try to DM you (as far as I understand DMs). It would be cool to just reject DMs across the board. Similar to how people can do with zaps by simply not listing an address.
This person doesnāt have DMs enabled
I didn't realize you could disable them.
Canāt. Iām saying it would be cool if you saw that when trying to dm someone who doesnāt use dms
Oh, exactly. I also see the need to have a way of privately requesting outside communication lines.
For example, we met on Nostr. We wouldn't be able to privately share external contact info if neither of us had DMs enabled. I can see a case for allowing people you follow to request a temporary DM or external contact method. I approve and it either let's you message me or automatically sends you the external contact info. Just some brain vomit. It's probably more complicated than that. š
The most simple version is just to list other contact info behind some contact button if you want people to be able to reach you.
True, but that would only apply to info you basically want to make public. I don't want everyone messaging me. Of course you could just have settings to automate approval if you don't care.