sometimes i want to close my eyes and pretend all this horror is not real
Discussion
The good news is, that the horror IS NOT real. You are watching a movie. Only one thing may have been horrible: when you realized that you had been playing a role in the movie but used to believe it was your life. Another thing not pleasant at first but not really horrible is that the real life is much less populated than the movie is. Thank god for Nostr that helps to connect with other human beings that are so far apart in the real life.
But, there are so many things to discover and they are so rich and exciting in the real world, that it is actually good that there are less people here. We would not have enough time for them anyway.
If anybody still have trouble differentiating between the movie and real life, there are some answers in here, but I must warn you, that this is many man-years of videos: search "Badlands Media" in rumble.com . And keep in mind that truth is scattered everywhere in small pieces. There is no single source of truth. And usually it is intermixed with some not quite truth. But everything has its purpose.