Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever

skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious

to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an

overdose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic

apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless

as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a

steroid-free fitness center.

-- Winning sentence, 1990 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.