The Responsibilities of a
Husband and Father
As a father, what principles should govern how you act? What decisions should you make? Why? I will approach these questions from the perspective of a Christian man trying to lead a Godly life. As a man you will find that there are different phases of your life? These different phases require changes in your outlook, priorities, and actions.
As a boy your primary responsibility will be to learn. Learn how to honor God. Learn how to honor your parents. Learn how to honor yourself. Learn how to honor your community. I use honor here because it is a central idea in how a man ought to act - with honor. I also use honor because it is the opposite of dishonor. We should strive in all circumstances to avoid bringing dishonor on ourselves and those around us. Learning these things while young will help set the trajectory of your life on the correct path. There is value in praise and also in shame. Both are ways to learn and teach. In some ways, we have become too soft as a society and, consequently, many will push back on this concept. The way & why of how you act are more important in this phase of your life than the successes or failures of your endeavors.
As a youth your primary responsibility will be to learn the skills necessary to be successful and self sufficient when you move out into the world on your own. Bear in mind that while doing this you will be striving to maintain and improve what you should have already learned as a boy. As a youth you are learning the structure of society and your place in it. You are starting to transition from being dependent on your parents to being independent. The consequences of your actions are now becoming your problem instead of your parents problem.
As a young single adult your primary responsibility will be to establish yourself as a valuable honorable member of the community. It is at this time when you will begin searching for your mate (if that is your path). The foundations of your future family are decided by who you choose and why you choose her. Right now everything you choose to do is about you, but if you decide that you want a family, then that will change over time. Right now, every choice, every reward, and every consequence are truly yours. You have earned them one way or another. Again remember, that while doing this you will be striving to maintain and improve what you should have already learned as a boy and a youth.
As a husband your world turns upside down. Before everything was centered on YOU. When you get married things shift from being focused on you to being focused on your wife. You are to support, protect, and love your wife. When there is a choice to be made, you must consider that your actions can beneficially or negatively impact her. Her needs take precedence over your wants. You will sacrifice in order to do what you believe she wants and needs. The choice of a mate is critically important. You should be looking for someone who is strong in the faith (the same faith as you). Do this and you always have an ally who will push you to do right by God and hold you accountable when you are not (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) Your role in the household is clear in the Bible. You are the priest of your house. You should be encouraging, teaching, holding and being held accountable. Generally speaking, you are the rudder of your household. You should be leading the way when it comes to matters of faith and obedience to God (Ephesians 5:25-28). It is also primarily your responsibility to provide for the physical needs of your family (1 Timothy 5:8).
As a father that happens yet again. Your focus shifts to include supporting, loving, and being responsible for whatever children the Lord blesses you with. All of the things that your learned as a boy, a youth, and as a single adult become your responsibility to teach to your children (Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4). This is where everything starts getting hard. After your commitment to God, your primary responsibility is to your wife and her to you.
I will say it again:
After your commitment to God, your primary responsibility is to your wife and her to you. You Vowed before God and Men to put her first in this life till death do you part (Mark 10:6-9). Hold her in high honor (1 Peter 3:7). Be faithful to her and have no others (Hebrews 13:4). By honoring God in you life and honoring that vow you set an example for your children of what a Godly Man, Husband, and Father should act like. This example is CRITICAL. Everything that you do teaches your children. Everything you do is an example for them (1 Corinthians 11:1). They will model their lives after yours even if they don’t realize it. One day your children will move out but your spouse will be with you for the rest of your life.
After your wife comes your children. All the things that you had to learn, you should be teaching to them. It is your Job to prepare them for the real world. The better you prepare them the less they need you. This is a good thing. You should strive to work yourself out of a job in this respect.
Notice what I didn’t say.
I didn’t say your job is to be your child’s friend or best buddy. There are times when your child will think the worst of you. This is to be expected. You will have to tell them no. You will have to protect them from themselves sometimes. Sometimes you will need to discipline your child (Hebrews 12:7). Your child will say hurtful things to you and you will have to soak it up and not retaliate. This is what you sign up for when you have kids. If you do it right they will thank you later. If you can maintain a relationship as friends, that is great, but don’t expect it. As the years go by I realize more and more how right my parents were and how wrong I was. This also is to be expected. And it is OK.
Remember:
God
Spouse
Children
Family
Community
Country.
This is the order of Priority…
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“Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
“ Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4
“It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline?” Hebrews 12:7
“Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:1
“Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.” Colossians 3:18-21
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;” Ephesians 5:25-28
“You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7
“Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4
“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8
“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
“But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Mark 10:6-9
#Bible #Husband #Father #Duty #Responsibility #Honor #Vow #Covenant #Advice #Truth
