Some of this is true for me, other parts are not. I've smoked on and off since the summer of 1993. Mostly on, though. I quit a couple times for a few-year stretch, I think the longest I went as a non-smoker was maybe 6 years. Last year (2023) I quit for 7+ months. So I have plenty of experience at falling! I know it is okay, and I just have to pick myself up one more time than all the times I fall down.

The past and the future are not my problems; the only thing I ever need to concern myself with is the present, and my next action/response. Knowing that withdrawal is one certain outcome of a particular action makes it that much easier to take some other action.

I'm grateful for every decision I've made, and every action I've taken, even the most wrongheaded hurtful ones, because they all add up to a life lived, and it is a life I am proud of; wishing anything different would just be denying my own self-gratitude while not improving anything for me or anyone else.