Nostr relays aren't "gossip friendly", they just have a "latest" query. How do I ask the DHT for the latest updates?

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Again, either scrap the dht as the BEP i linked to explains, or run Pkarr relays and add extra endpoint to get latest submitted stuff.

Also, what Nostr relays are you asking for latest updates? All of them?

DHT nodes organize themselves in a structural way so you can find them all if you try, so they should be simpler to scrape than Nostr relays, which you don't know them all.

Anyways, I think you are not suggesting a practical solution, and what you actually want is just an extra requirement that DHTs don't make harder at all.