1. Flotilla attempts to use community relays *as* blossom servers, so that would be your best option. Otherwise, it will use your personal blossom server list (it'll only use the first server in the list currently). If neither of these scratch your itch I'm open to creating a way for relays to recommend blossom servers, or something like that.
2. I don't use pokey, so I'm not sure, but a space = a relay, so if you can ask pokey to give you notifications for all events on a relay, or for a custom filter that would be your best bet.