I had some moments years ago when I was questioning myself about it.

I came to the conclusion that I want happiness through a simpler life.

I simply want out society, in the sense that I want out the rat race, live more like ancient times reducing screentime the most I can and discover again old habits and crafts.

I got into traditional hand tool woodworking and permaculture. This fulfills me.

Plus I have the best wife a man can ever imagine, let alone want, so I am in a pretty good starting position.