You just send the delete request to the relays you want and don't send to the one you don't want, but either way, you don't control anything about deletes.

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If the ones you don't want still receive the request, (which is likely because clients are supposed to broadcast them when a relay signals they don't have a deletion request when they should) they would delete them when you don't intend for those relays to delete them.

PR made https://github.com/nostr-protocol/nips/pull/1462

I'm well aware, I made a relay implementation from scratch in go.